This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
