worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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