Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
