I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
