BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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