Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If that was your dad, he is hot
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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