4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
