Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
