3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
