hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
