Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
