Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need a beard to bite.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
