he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
