whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
