How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
