Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
