Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
