i permit you to call me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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