What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
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