it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
