im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
