I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
