Three words: puerto rican gang bang
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
