He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize