You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
