So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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