Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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