I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
