what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
