..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
