can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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