She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Send help, water and tortillas.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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