ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
