She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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