Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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