he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
