Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
