P.S. I can't hear my feet
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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