my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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