Nicole vs. Life
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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