just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
