I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
