just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
