IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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