It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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