When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
