you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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