WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
