they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
