I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
