Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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