So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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