Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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