Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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