Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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