If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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