I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
