the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
