ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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