Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
