Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
