do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize