doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
